Chapter 314 A Caged Bird Sings In Trans Prison:>Ep12

• Finally, it was time for me to start working before lunch. This was the time that I was supposed to be sneaking off. You might think that that would be impossible in prison; that guards are around all the time and everything else. But in our prison at least, it wasn't like that. There wasn't a lot of serious violence in our prison, but guards were only posted in places where fights were likely. And you generally had freedom to move around when you were supposed to be working. I could've walked off it if I wanted to, and someone would have covered for me til I got back. But at first I didn't go.
• I was sweeping up some stuff that was on the floor from breakfast preparation. It was just the kind of mindless work that basically forces you to think. So I got to thinking, why was I upset, what did I want? Why was easier than I expected. I'd lost everything in my life. First my parents, then my dream, and my freedom. Finally, all the sex in this place, all the desire I felt, I'd finally lost my self-discipline. If I decided to be a part of this place, I'd have to accept the sex and my desire for it.
• So what did I want? It wasn't like I didn't have options. I was a disciplined person, I had to be. If I wanted to, I could spend the next decade and a half in this place completely inside of myself. I could watch TV, read, work, and get an education. I could speak when spoken to. I could give up on being a famous but not give up on being the sweet, sexless girl that was my persona. Or I could accept who I am, I could be a tranny and I could be attracted to other t-girls. I could have friends. I could fuck. I could give up on pretending to be a "normal" girl even in my private time. So what did I want?